Made a new friend today. (Taken with instagram)
Not meaning
to hold myself back
in quiet reservation.
But sometimes
it’s necessary
for stoic contemplation.
So many
thoughts swimming around;
emotions boiling in me.
It’s needed
to just take it in,
and let these words stew a bit.
When ready,
they will erupt out,
and oh how they will echo.
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Every step I take brings me further.
Every mistake, a lesson I need.
Every time I raise you a standard,
the stones beneath me tremble.
Any way I choose is unknowing.
The whims I take are seldom success.
Any time I wager a gamble,
the foundation starts to give away.
Who am I to take up these chances
balancing my heart on a wire?
Who am I to challenge these voices?
Seduced by these blackened avenues.
Every step I take leads to nowhere.
Every misfortune, a hunger I feed.
For every lover I raise a standard
just to die a little more each time.
Raise myself a little more early,
forcing myself to face down the dawn.
Another day lays out before me,
another gauntlet for me to march.
Another scar for the ensemble
of us petty fools and diamond queens.
Another cigarette this morning,
another kiss of my dying word.
You can’t help but be eager.
Your eyes glaze over the curves
of the devil’s waltzing partner,
the sweat beading down your face
as your grip loosens to the shakes.
Your intentions and demeanor blur,
your aspirations in life change,
and the course of your ship
aims to meet her treacherous shores;
setting sail into the storm.
Belligerently you push through
the crowd of other suitors,
hoping to strike up a spark
of light to chase off these shadows,
but those hands still shake much.
Strike too much and too fast
and you’ll break your flint,
you’ll waste your fuel;
and if you did spark true,
you’ll burn yourself out quick.
You’ll be left drifting here,
on the seas of the dance floor,
taken back wave after wave
as she floats further and further
from your drowning hands.