Good Grief: Why the Federation Needs to Learn the Value of Science

Ok. So for anyone who’s been reading on the STO forums about this sudden outcry over Klingon cloaking devices in PvP arena combat, you have me to thank for it. I’ll summarize:

FvK arena battle.  5 Feds, 5 Klingons. 4 of the 5 Klingons were |SoK|, including myself as team leader. 5 Feds engage in their “Balling” tactic (which is nothing more than an STO version of “turtling”) and begin launching their minefield. We rush in to attack, and get owned.  We rush in again, owned.  Score is 8-4. Then Kahless officially has enough and calls strat…

…and all 5 Klingons cloak. And wait.  And smack talk. And wait. They start whining about Klingons not being honorable.  We continue to wait.  They get impatient on the other side. Desperate complaints about how long it’s taking begin. We continue to wait. They begin to crack.  They tried to send out bait.  It was thwarted.  Repeatedly. They went for a final desperate push.

Final score: Feds 9 – Klingons 15.

What took place in that arena was an outstanding display of intelligence, adaptation, and skill on the battlefield by both teams.  The Federation team took their time and waited for the usually aggressive Klingon team to approach their defensive perimeter and then pounce in a unified strike, taking each enemy ship by storm.  The Starfleeters took advantage of what they thought was predictable Klingon nature and capitalized on it.  But, in a sheer stroke of military genius (more like Kahless on his 4th rum and Coke), the Klingons got smart and began to use stealth tactics and patience to counter the defensive perimeter.  If the Feds wanted to wait behind their lines, so would we.  I was not going to be baited into my own defeat by falling prey to tempting targets.  I was going to make the enemy come to me.  They did.  And they lost.  Only one person on the Federation team managed to state anything about how excellent both strategies were.  The |SoK| TeamSpeak was alight with joy and celebration.  We had beaten the Feds at their own waiting game.  We were on to something at last.

And then the whining started on the forums.

For the past 2 days all one can read in the Klingon/PvP section is about cloak griefing.  There’s desperate pleas to Cryptic to nerf cloaks by putting them on a timer. Constant whining about overpowered weaponry and the cloak being such an imbalanced tactical advantage that it’s “not fair” and “should be nerfed” to make arena PvP more balanced.  Shots to the Klingon side about lack of honor and “fighting like Romulans” instead of barreling headlong into a minefield like lemmings and using what we’ve been given as a canon tactical advantage since Kirk’s Enterprise.

Uh oh!! You mean we’re not acting predictably!  We’re using the skills we’ve been given by the game and developing a meta-game around it! Instead of acting within our nature, for one battle we changed it, you went OMGWTFBBQ, and we rocked your little cyber world. OMGGGGGG!!! YOU CAN’T NERF STRATEGY!!!  So get over it.

Out of the melange of commentary ranging from counter QQ-ing to “zomg nerf it or I’ll cry” came one amazing comment that was repeated by at least 3 different people but highlighted by NONE…use a Science vessel and its anti-cloak abilities.  The entire Federation faction has a smorgasbord of ship options that we do not.  They can make pure science ships.  We can’t.  We can cloak, but it can be detected. But do they use this advantage in arena PvP? Hell no…that’s not FUN.  That requires brain power, coordination, and skill.  And the pew-pew-pew crowd doesn’t like to use brain power, only coordinates when it’s necessary, and calls “skill” the top KDR in the match even when they lost.  And Kahless forbid it take longer than 5 minutes to win.  Well I did forbid it and I won.  I looked at the situation, assessed my tactical options, knew what my capabilities were and that of my squadron, and decided to play the mind game.   As a result, I began a cyclone of cries of frustration and calls for skill balances 2 days after retail launch.  They say it’s not fun to sit in an arena for 20 minutes waiting.  I say it’s a tremendous good time.  And I’m thoroughly enjoying the fact that the Federation’s First Brigade, Second QQ Battalion, Noob Company went out in force to protest an ass-whooping done by a gamer who’s just tired of playing around with what they think should be the status-quo.  Take heed: I’m going to out-think you.  I’m going to outsmart you. And I’m going to fuck up the status-quo until you re-write it.  And then I’ll find new ways to create PvP social unrest.

This is the new Klingon Empire.

Kahless is the host of “The Klingon Invasion” on Sub-SpaceRadio.Net ; as well as leader of the Sword of Kahless multi gaming clan.
He is a guest writer, friend and ally of The Chaos Grenade.

4 thoughts on “Good Grief: Why the Federation Needs to Learn the Value of Science”

  1. This is a Klingon I can respect. This is how Klingons thought back in TOS, it is about winning, about outthinking your enemy, it is about the Empire expanding by defeating those who stand in its way. Well done and good luck.

  2. So what shall we call your “tactic”? Sitzkrieg?

    What would have happened if the Feds didn’t take your bait, though. I would love to find out how many mines can be deployed at a time.

  3. “Sitzkreig”…now that made me laugh. Sad, but funny.

    What do you think the Fedball is? It’s a waiting game. The Fed cowards sit behind their mines and wait for the *typically* aggressive Klingons to just go flying into it. They wanted to wait it out, so I let them. There was no bait, because they flipped out and started flying. It was a war of mental attrition and they lost. I’m sure you’ve heard of psychological warfare?

  4. The Feds don’t have a choice, though. They HAVE to sit and wait. It’s not like they can find Klingons and go to them. You greatly overestimate the distance at which a cloaked ship can be detected. If there was an ability to detect the general detection of the nearest cloaked ship, then maybe it would make sense for them to be aggressive.

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